Becoming a mother is a transforming experience. And, although you may think you know what it is going to be like, it never turns out that way.
Washington FAMILY Magazine surveyed the mothers on the WUSA9 Moms Like Me web site for their thoughts and opinions about motherhood. Some of the results were amusing but they were all very informative.
This week on WUSA9 News Now we discussed the results of our survey of moms.
We asked moms some questions about motherhood because we wanted to see what moms thought about being a mother and then to also ask them what their perfect gift was for the upcoming Mother’s Day. I think you will find the results very interesting. We are working on posting as many of the comments on our web site as we can.
What is the most important part of motherhood?
Robin, a mom from DC told us that she felt the most important part of motherhood was to provide our children with opportunities to learn, have fun and to help them experience the world around them. Those are wonderful comments.
Other moms said:
--Enjoying the precious moments
--Loving each child as a unique individual
--Developing a strong bond between mother and child
--Instilling strong family values
--Giving unconditional love
What is the hardest part of motherhood?
One mom, Lauren said the hardest part was keeping up your energy and stamina so she could give her all to her baby. Those first months are very difficult.
Some other moms told us the hardest was --
--Making the most of the time you have with your children
--Enjoying the moment while your job is very important
--Being in charge all the time
--Saying no and tough love
--Not feeling guilt because I am a working mom
--Motherhood is hard but the rewards are great
--Finding time for me
--Learning to be patient
What makes you feel appreciated? (I feel appreciated as a mother when . . . )
Most of our moms told us the same thing. They feel appreciate when their children give them hugs, smiles and say thank you. One mom said, “I feel appreciated when they tuck me in at night instead of the other way around.”
Things that made mom feel appreciated were:
--Hugs and kisses
--Thank you or notes of thanks
--Chores or actions done before I ask (several said this)
--Having the kids run and hug me when I pick them up
What have you learned from being a mother that you didn’t expect?
I think Lauren put it best on this one. You are never “off.” You are always on duty or on call. That never changes no matter what the age of your children.
Kirstin also has some wonderful words. “I have a brand new relationship with my own mother. I see her in a totally different light and now see all the sacrifices she made for me---without ever expecting a thank you or even a bit of recognition. It is comforting to know that someone has the same strong feelings for me that I have for my own children.”
Tina told us this, “My actions shine through in my children. The way you communicate with the world and your child shows itself through our child when they start communicating and you realize they are a mini-me of you. Reflection of my childhood, my parents, understanding that life isn't about you, but what you give back to it. Becoming a better person and understanding people. Becoming your own mother!”
Other moms shared these thoughts:
--Kids are amazing and seeing life through their eyes is amazing
--Patience is an important part of motherhood and hard to develop
--You learn from the good times and the hard times
--You need to think like a child instead of an adult
--Family plays an important part in a child’s life
--I can get by with just a few hours of sleep
--How incredibly bonding child rearing is for marriage and extended family
--Letting go is difficult but important
--I can’t do it all
What was your mother right about? (and you thought she was wrong)
WOW, this one was a great question and we had some wonderful comments. Kami told us her mom was right about everything and she could not believe that she was such a know it all when she was growing up.
It is amazing when you have your own children you even sometimes hear your mother speaking through your own words. Many of the moms told us they appreciate their own mothers much more now that they have children.
Other moms told us their mom was right about –
--Everything (and it is so annoying)
--Be nice to your siblings. They will be your best friends later in life.
--Two is enough (her mom had 3 kids)
--Mom was right about everything and I did not realize it
--Time go quickly
--What goes around comes around
What’s the perfect Mother’s Day gift for you?
Moms out there are not looking for gifts or even flowers. There was a serious common thread. They all want relaxed enjoyable time with their husband and children with memories they could cherish. Many said they wanted a day with no decisions and no responsibilities.
The second best gift was a spa treatment. I think they all want that “time off” that they never get.
Here are the things our moms want for Mother’s Day:
--Massage, facial, manicure and pedicure
--Hot tub and a massage
--Husband cooking dinner
--Let me sleep in while husband gets the kids up and fed
--Dinner out with or without a babysitter
--A relaxed day with no stress
--Hand written cards from the kids
--Photos of the kids for purse or office
--Memories to cherish
Tina said something that I thought was just wonderful and very touching. She said, “Having children is like opening a xmas or birthday gift every day! It's that much joy!
That was a wonderful thought.
Thanks to all the moms who shared their thoughts and feelings. One mom, Monika said that it was a fun exercise and really made her think about being a parent. I never thought it that way.
Maybe it is good every once in a while to stand back and think about our job as a mother, the impact we have on the world and the joys we are receiving.
Our first Moms event is going to be on May 8 at the Rio Grande restaurant in Reston, Virginia. MomsLike Me, WFM and WASH FM radio will be hosting a special happy hour for moms. This will be an opportunity for all the moms who have been networking on the MLM site to get together and meet. We will have food and prizes as well as get to know each other.
It happens to be my birthday and several other moms as well so it will be a fun celebration. AND, we will be giving away that Spa Treatment that all the moms say they are looking for.
Go to the WFM web site and click on WEB EXTRAS. All the information will be there for the event as well as 2 other lunchtime events that will be taking place during May.
Until then, Happy Parenting!
And, Happy Mother’s Day!