Results

A good friend and business partner of mine, Judy Freeman writes a regular weekly blog, and this week I thought I would share. Judy is very motivating - the kind of business coach who really helps her clients focus on the things that can grow their business. If you want to reach Judy, her email is judyfreeman@actioncoach.com.

Guest Blog from Judy Freeman:

Do you ever feel like you are moving forward but not getting results quickly enough?

I hear my clients saying the exact same thing. Yet, we all need to ask ourselves:

• "Are we doing the right things?"
• "Are we using our time effectively to reach our goals?"
• "Are we constantly readjusting our course with new information to get the results we want?"
• "Do we focus on the most important tasks every day?"
• "Do we keep a positive mindset and believe in ourselves?"

Patience is a virtue! If we learn to be patient and positive in our endeavors, it will make the journey much more fun. We will create a nurturing and energetic culture where the team believes in the future. The team will be calm yet happy and optimistic. If you continue to set goals and metrics and ensure that you are moving forward, success will be yours.

Persistence is another key component to success! When you hear no, it simply means not now. We must all learn to be resilient and realize that we must "get back on the horse." Think about famous people who had success later in life: Susan Boyle became a singing sensation @ 48, Ray Kroc started McDonalds @ 52, and Maya Angelou was in her 60's when her books became popular! It was their persistence, confidence and commitment that helped them realize their dreams.

Patience and persistence are a powerful, winning combination!

Wishing you a powerful week!

Judy Freeman

Mom Guilt...

“Bad” Mothers

We’ve all been there – that “bad” mom moment. Your voice rises, you speak THEN think. It’s a universal parenting experience. For all the times we stay calm and collected while literally walking on broken glass, once in a while we just lose it.

It happens in an instant, but we live with the guilt and regret of it for much longer – forever if we’re the type to judge ourselves harshly. I am.

I have to admit, as the mom of four fabulous grown ups, I hoped my “bad” mom moments were behind me. It’s not like I’m dealing with pre-verbal toddlers or pre-reasoning teenagers. My kid and I discuss things, we agree to disagree, we’re reasonable people. At least that’s how it is most of the time….

When my first child was born, I swore I would never, ever, under any circumstances say: “Because I told you to….” I hated it when my mom said that to me, and I still cringe when I hear parents say it to their kids. Kids are asking for the how and why of a situation so we should help them understand. Right? Theoretically….

Here’s how the theoretical conversation goes down:

Please eat all your peas.
- Why?
Because they will help keep you healthy.
- Okay.

However when my second daughter was two years old, she started asking “Why.” Not just once. Incessantly. It drove me to distraction.

Here’s how the reality-based conversation went down:

Please eat all your peas.
- Why? Because they will help keep you healthy.
- Why? They have good stuff in them to make you grow big.
- Why? Peas use the sun to create the stuff your body needs.
- Why? That is how plants work.
- Why? So they can grow and get big. Eat them, you will too!
- Why? Because I told you to.

And there it was. Just rolled off my tongue. “Because I told you to” ended the conversation - which honestly was what needed to happen. But isn’t a “good” mom supposed to encourage their kids’ curiosity and learning? I definitely felt the “bad” mom guilt weighing down on me in the quiet left after the last “Why?” faded away.

So fast forward a few decades, and here I am again. Feeling “bad” mom guilt in the quiet that’s left over after one of those not so pretty reality-based conversations.

My youngest daughter Brittany is engaged, and we’ve been joyfully working together on the wedding plans. From the beginning, I swore I would NOT be a Mother-Of-the-Bride “MOBzilla.”

Brittany’s wedding is something she’s dreamed about since she was a little girl. So I want to help her make it the wedding of her dreams, a true memory of a lifetime. Now I fear I added a moment to the memory that isn’t pretty.

My moment was in response to a guest list mix-up that ended up creating hours of additional work. I’d happily spend hours with Brittany choosing bridesmaid gifts or poring over flower arrangements, but I didn’t want to commit hours to cross-checking names and addresses that were added to the list by mistake. It’s a big guest list – happily so – but it’s going to take a ton of work to make it right.

Much to everyone’s dismay, mine especially, I had a MOBzilla moment. I should not have lost my cool, but life’s demands were piling up on me, and I snapped. Not that it makes me feel better, but I’m confident I have company in my “bad” mom guilt.

The best of us moms have had our moments. We yell when we know better. And then we apologize. But we still feel bad about it long after the kids have forgiven and forgotten. Kids tend to be resilient – hopefully the adult children of regretful mothers retain some of that resilience….

This month, we learn from Renee Kendley how to handle those times when you lose your cool. On page 66 of this month's FAMILY Magazine, Renee tells us to “Talk to your child about how people, even parents, have meltdowns sometimes where they don’t act rationally.”

It’s after the meltdown when we parents need to act rationally. We set the example of how to be the calm after the storm. I’m still working toward that with Brittany.

I am hoping when Brittany reads this blog, she’ll know I want to help however I can with her wedding. I want to be the ideal Mother-Of-the-Bride (I always aim high). But when life charges in and stresses up the works, MOBzilla moments have a way of crashing the party.

In the proper spirit of my rational moment, I’m going to do the “good” mom thing. Apologize from the heart. Beg for forgiveness. And most importantly ask her to give me a second chance, because in spite of all my best intentions, there’s always the possibility it might happen again….

Happy parenting!

Brenda

FAMILY Magazine's Got a New Sheen!

My recent "Mom Blog" Letter from the Publisher in our April edition celebrates our magazine's birthday makeover (glossy stock) and lets readers into my exciting trek through wedding land with my youngest daughter.  Updates since publication? Sure!  The first update being that the engagement party was a roaring success with a lovely cake from Sweet City Desserts to cap it off.

Surprise!

I love a good surprise, and we certainly have a great one for our readers and advertisers this month. Did you notice? FAMILY Magazine is glossy! We’re putting on our new spring wardrobe. Now we’re all dressed up and lucky enough to have places to go – all over the DC metro area!

April is our birthday month, so it’s a natural desire to do a bit of a makeover. We just keep growing up and getting better. Nary a wrinkle or age spot in sight – magazines are lucky that way.

Moms know from surprises – so we’re happy to have you celebrate our new look with us. Surprises abound in the life of a mom (good and bad - we know!). But there are also things about being a mom that stay the same. So while FAMILY Magazine is slicking up its outsides, we still have all the same great resources you have come to know and trust. All our great information is just wrapped up in a shiny new package.

Let us know what you think of our changes, the good and the bad. Tell us if we're missing something you want to see every month. We are all ears – this is your magazine. We work hard to give you what you want to see each month. Share your thoughts with me directly at Publisher@thefamilymagazine.com. I reply to all reader emails. Promise!

As if these changes to FAMILY Magazine weren’t enough to keep me busy this spring, I have some exciting personal changes happening. My youngest daughter is getting married! So as you read this issue of FAMILY Magazine, I am busy working on my daughter’s wedding that will take place in March 2014. Trust me, when you’re planning a wedding, a year isn’t as long as it seems!

There is so much to be done. Thank goodness we have a fantastic wedding planner guiding us through the details. I will be sharing the excitement over the next eleven months. I’m counting on the fact that our reader moms love to vicariously enjoy a wedding – all the fancy romantic details with none of the work! I’ll be on task for you….

So our “right now” plan is to party. Good start right? Brittany’s wedding will be in Florida where she and her fiance live so a lot of our friends and co-workers won’t be able to attend the grand event. To bridge that gap, we are hosting an engagement party early this month at my house. In true Brenda and Brittany social butterfly form, we are expecting 100 people!

In addition to our local folks, I thought the party would be a great opportunity to invite Brittany’s soon to be in-laws up for a long weekend. They accepted and are coming. So looking forward to getting to know them. Then I thought it would be great to invite her fiance’s two brothers, their wives and children for the long weekend. They accepted and are coming. Yea for family to be!

So that’s fifteen people staying at our house for the weekend. One hundred coming for the party. Starting to sweat a bit now that I see it on paper…good thing Brittany and I are master planners.

Speaking of plans, I completely forgot about meals! I don’t cook. This is a problem. Will be finding someone to help me cook - I’ve got a lot of mouths to feed.

So April for me = magazine update, wedding, party, house guests - what was I thinking? My husband, while on board for all of it, just smiles and shakes his head at me.

Oh well, the more the merrier. It is going to be a great (big!) celebration. I really can’t wait.

Til May, Happy Parenting

Are you disciplined? - a Guest Blog

Every so often one of my friends and business associates writes something that I find extremely helpful or enjoyable.  Today I asked Judy Freeman, a business coach with Action Coach to share her recent eBlast.  If you would like to sign up for Judy’s weekly tips, there is a link at the end of this article or just click here.

Guest Blog by Judy Freeman
Are you disciplined?

This winter, I have been very involved in my daughter's High School swimming career. We have attended meets up and down the East Coast. I meet athletes and parents from many schools and towns. There is a common trait of all the key performers: discipline!

The athletes who continue to improve, train and excel aren't necessarily the most talented athletes. Rather, they are the ones who want it the most. They are disciplined in their training schedule, they commit to their rituals, do what the coaches ask and eat healthy. In all cases, the athletes have a supportive family, coach and school to keep them on track.

Well, how does this discipline relate to business?

The most successful business people are also well disciplined. They keep their commitments, stay focused and have a road map for their career. They are willing to go the extra mile to get the results that they want to achieve. They work hard and stay disciplined even when they could take the easy way out.

Here are some specific traits that I see amongst disciplined professionals:

--   Do what they say and meet their commitments. They don't miss deadlines or make excuses of why things don't get done. Rather, they can be counted on to get the job done!

--    Passionate about their work and life. They are energetic and optimistic about enjoying their journey. They stay on track so that they feel good about their accomplishments.

--    Masters of time management so that they focus on what's most important to them. They are willing to say no or walk away from things that are bad for them.

--    Work and life balance so that they stay healthy. They look at their total being and make sure that they are balanced in all areas of their life.

--    Look at the long-term picture by realizing that they may need to invest time and money now to get their best result later. For example, they may go to the gym, eat right, study late or help a friend. They may prefer to be doing something different at that moment. Yet, they will be disciplined to make good decisions for their life, health and relationships.

What do you see as solid disciplines? Do you see discipline as being important to business success?

If you need more discipline in your business, coaching may be the right tool for you. Contact me at judyfreeman@actioncoach.com or 703-627-2745 for a free coaching session. Look forward to chatting with you!

Judy Freeman

To sign up for Judy's eNewsletter, click here.

March FAMILY Magazine Mom Blog

Each month, I write a Mom Blog for our Magazine.  It's my letter from the Publisher FAMILY style!

How Important is Mom?

This month I have been in the thick of planning my youngest daughter’s wedding. Fortunately (or unfortunately – depending upon my husband’s perspective) my daughter is a lot like her mom and loves planning a long way out. For reference, her wedding is March 1, 2014. We’re almost at the year mark! Time to get busy – or busier in our case.

Recently, we have gone through some major decisions that showed a side of her that so resembles her dad and me. Her choices warmed my heart. We are having a great time – who wouldn’t want to just wrap themselves up in such a once in a lifetime process?

So as I sat down to share all my wonderful wedding news with our readers, I received a cryptic text. “Taking mom to the heart hospital. Just as a precaution going to the South Side Hospital.”

The text was from my husband. While it’s obvious the text is not great news, it was not obvious what was going on. My husband Doug wasn’t with his mom. I knew this as we had just finished a great beach getaway with her, and she was safe and sound back home in Kansas. Furthermore, Doug was in Denver on business so it would be hard for him to be heading to a “South Side Hospital” in Kansas….

Needless to say, I was dialing his cell before I even finished the above thought process. He answered my question - “Your mom?” - with - “No, YOUR mom.” He had forwarded a text from my dad.

Should I have been prepared for this moment? As a consummate planner, I’m feeing a bit lost on this one. I’ve had reminders to get to work on a “parents” plan - a good friend lost her father after a lengthy illness. While I did what I could to help her as she commuted back and forth to Houston for almost two years, she told me often my time would come.

So, as she said, my time had come. All I can think is I’m going to plan the best I can. It’s much easier to plan for a wedding – all the fun and smiles, than for a parent’s decline and, gulp, beyond. It’s a challenge to plan for where life takes you. It’s a bit outside our control. I do feel lucky I am not quite in the sandwich generation. My own children are all out of the house and grown so my focus can be on my parents.

Turning my focus toward what I can do for my parents as they age (they’re thriving in their eighties), I looked online and found some statistics that made me realize I was sharing an all too common experience with my generational cohorts.

• Right now is the first time in history that American couples are responsible for statistically more parents than children. 
• Almost 40% of all U.S. workers are more involved with caring for a parent than with caring for a child. 
• The average woman can expect to spend eighteen years caring for an elderly family member, compared to seventeen years to care for her children. 

Realizing my own family situation is shaping itself to statistical expectation, my time to take action is now. Before my parents' needs become even more dramatic. As it turns out, mom’s trip to the hospital was caused by a reaction to a medication her doctor prescribed. It was not life threatening. It was a wake up call.

So, what is a girl to do when she confronts the reality of her parents aging and progressively needing greater attention? We’re going to start with good old-fashioned conversation. It’s not all about making plans for an impossible to control situation. It’s about trusting that we’ll do all we can for and with our parents in the years to come. It’s about trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever “text” may next come.

Given my parents are in great shape, we’re thinking fun thoughts in the near future. A cruise to Alaska is something we’ve talked about. Maybe when we put my daughter Brittany on the plane for her (well planned) honeymoon, my husband and I can take mom and dad on a trip to celebrate.

Granny-moon? I’m thinking that’s a good plan.

Until April!

Brenda

Night Club Networking?

Professional Meat Market Events?

I'm not that kind of gal...really! 

In a recent issue of the Washington Business Journal, guest blogger DerekCoburn refers to big networking events as “professional meat market events.” He compares the large, formal networking groups to the nightclub scene where one night stands are the "goal."

This was one of those articles I just couldn't relate to. Usually Derek writes really good stuff, but in this case he missed making me feel satisfied.

In short, he told me what is wrong but then gave me no answers. Frustrating for me - always on the look out for smart advice...

The article was right on target, and I agreed with Derek completely that large networking events can be like dating via nightclub. But his conclusion that we should “skip the big networking event and get creative” left me unsatisfied. I would have loved to have seen more specifics or maybe suggestions for some of these creative networking opportunities.

Effective networking is difficult and time consuming. I recently joined a networking group that meets formally every Wednesday at 7 a.m. I believe my fellow networking members are interested in long term relationships - even if it that relationship is based on who you know and who they know and so on. Business networking isn't about "a" sale. It's about being in a community of business people sharing ideas, trends, and, yes, contacts.

I learned a networking lesson when a visitor came to our group last week. The visitor was a woman who helps executives by coming to them and providing custom made clothing. My husband actually had a need for this kind of service. I announced to the group how glad I was to connect, and that I would be using her services. This was networking, right?

I missed the mark. One of the members of my group (my opposite of a one-night-stand business partner) told me that he has a network of thousands of contacts in almost any field. He assured me if I had a need for just about anything, he could refer me to someone that he knows AND KNOWS WELL. I could have asked him, and he would have had five referrals for me.

It was a good reminder to me the value of networking outside of selling. My network is a trove of information. I need to remember to work my group. Give me reason to hit that 7 a.m. meeting each week! No need to look outside yourself for networking, ask those you already have in your close network. That really is how networking pays off.

And, REMEMBER, if you need anything – and I MEAN ANYTHING – I know a guy who has a network of thousands of reliable resources. Really!

Mom Reviews hits 100!

FAMILY Magazine has hit a milestone!  

We've published over 100 Mom Reviews.

What's a Mom Review you ask? It's just one more way we're bringing the best DC has to offer to our readers - both in print and online. We have a great group of moms who use products, visit places, shop at stores and then tell us the truth about how great (or not) they work for their families. It's the best test market out there. Real moms with real kids (messy, picky, loud) always give the best advice.

Most of our reviews are truly local. We want to help local businesses - toy stores, kids' clothes, bakeries, etc. - by sending our mom reviewers their direction to check out their goods. FAMILY Magazine is all about making life in DC as great as possible for our families and our businesses.

Check out our Mom Reviews any time you want on our website at:  http://www.washingtonfamily.com/page/Local-Mom-Reviews

We feature over 20 categories of products, places, and more.  Some examples (just click the topic to go straight there)...

Books
Locally Owned Toy Stores
Food/Restaurants
Cupcake Shops 

If you or someone you know would like to become a mom reviewer, just click here for all the scoop.  We're always looking for new reviewers! While we call them Mom Review, it doesn't mean dads out there can't get in on the action...as long as you're a parent, you're qualified!

If you have a product or business and would like to be "reviewed" - honestly - click here for the details.

We also have a great Tips and Quips feature as part of the mom reviews - it's a resource for everything from how to blow out your hair to how to decorate for holidays to pet dental care.  We have the best experts who contribute to our magazine - and offer up their advice as easy to read tips. http://www.washingtonfamily.com/page/Tips-Quips-to-Help-Moms

Great Tips for Kids' Dental Health

It's never too early to teach kids the importance of good dental health. February is National Children’s Dental Health Month, and Dr. Ramineh Kangarloo of Falls Church, VA was good enough to give us some great tips to be sure your kids’ teeth are healthy from the start.

Baby should visit the dentist for the first time within six months of getting his first tooth. Just be sure it’s not much after his first birthday.

Visit the dentist every six months – for everyone in the family – to ensure little problems are caught early and to develop a relationship with the dentist. It helps if kids are comfortable visiting the dentist. It also helps the parents – the dentist gives great advice for at-home care.

Baby teeth, or primary teeth need the same care as permanent teeth so they’re strong and healthy. Healthy baby teeth help ensure the permanent teeth erupt in the proper order as much as possible.

Even baby teeth need professional cleanings every six months to clear up any tartar build up and polish away plaque. The cleaning plus a clinical fluoride treatment helps ensure a healthy mouth.

Use fluoridated toothpaste from age two and up. Even if baby can’t spit yet, just use a small pea sized dab to ensure he’s not swallowing too much.

When your kids can spit with some accuracy (for the sake of a clean countertop), start using a .05% fluoride rinse after brushing.

Have little ones play with the handled flossers before they’re able to actually use it properly. It gets them used to it, and they’ll understand flossing to be part of the process of cleaning their teeth before bed.

Sealants are important for kids’ permanent teeth as they come in. Teeth have pits and fissures that, when covered, are less likely to end up with cavities. If the baby teeth are unusually prone to decay, sealants can be applied to protect them as well.

Do what you can to get baby to sleep without a bottle. It’s best if you can clean baby’s teeth before sleep. If baby does have a snack after cleaning the teeth, try to rinse his mouth with water before going to bed.

Limit sugary treats – and limit the number of times kids get them throughout the day. Fewer is better. If kids get a treat, let them have it all at once vs. snacking throughout the day.

Limit sugary drinks – to include juice. Sugary, acidic liquids (especially sodas) can cause decay. Use water in sippy cups and have juice at mealtimes.

Ideally, bottles and pacifiers should no longer be part of baby’s day after age two. Thumbs come under that same rule, but it’s obviously much harder to keep them out of kids’ mouths. It can cause adverse dental and skeletal changes.  These kids show more open bites, posterior cross bites, and upper overject than habit-free kids.

Good dental habits are developed from the beginning - healthy baby teeth make for healthy permanent teeth! Here are some more great parenting resources:

Dr. Kangarloo’s website features educational articles and videos.

“Like” Gentle touch dentistry on Facebook.

To celebrate Children’s Dental Health Month (February), check out the ADA’s site.

For the kid who doesn’t like to brush, check out this link.

Want to see more great tips for moms? Check out our Local Mom Review Tips and Quips on the FAMILY Magazine website. 

NOVA Housewives Interview

I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by the Real Housewives of Northern Virginia.  They aren't the reality show "Real" - they are housewives, they live in NOVA, and they know what they're talking about - community happenings, giveaways, and gossip.

I thought I'd share a snippet of my interview here on my blog.  The entire interview is on the Real Housewives of Northern Virginia's blog.  I hope you enjoy both the interview and their blog...novahousewives.com.

Leading Ladies: Brenda Hyde @ FAMILY Magazine 02/04/2013 0 Comments Twenty years ago, Brenda Hyde was in the midst of raising four kids. After being unable to find a local children’s store, she realized that she wanted to create a resource for busy moms in the Washington DC area. Today, she is the Editor of one of the largest publications in the Washington DC region - FAMILY Magazine.  Describe yourself in three words:  Innovative, Energetic, and involved ....

Read on - I promise you'll enjoy the Real Housewives of Northern Virginia's site as much as the rest of my flattering interview!  

Broken Resolutions

The February issue of FAMILY Magazine is available in the stands and online!  Here is my Mom Blog from that issue.  Just pondering a bit over how we're going to learn to work together - I'm thinking the kids have it figured out...

Broken Resolutions

I sometimes FEEL that I am right. I do not KNOW that I am.” - Albert Einstein

Now that we’ve done the holiday recovery period, also known as January, I am ready to get down to the real business of 2013. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to approach the challenges we face in this still quite “New” Year. I’m over the whole resolution thing. I never lack for projects that need my attention. My challenge is figuring out how to get things done that are already on my to do list.

I’m lucky to be surrounded by very capable folks who are willing to step up and do what it takes to get our great Magazine out every month. We don’t always agree on what goes in, what stays out, and what every page will look like, but we manage to work together and create products we’re happy with every month.

The tie that binds us (in a good way) is that there’s never a moment when any of us forgets the goal. We all want our readers to have a great experience with each issue of our Magazine and to enjoy our online offerings as well. It seems normal enough to work through our differences so we can make things happen.

It made me stop and think: why does it seem so hard for our politicians to find a way to create even the smallest agreements? Like us, they all seem to want the same thing – a safer, stronger, successful America. It’s just a wonder they can’t come to any common understanding on how to get there.

I fear what our kids are learning as they watch what we generously call the political “process.” Blaming, calling names, making threats are all part of the game. Interestingly enough, those same behaviors are on those bullying watch lists our grade schoolers get during school assemblies. They’re told to - pardon the expression – “tell the teacher” if they see that sort of nonsense going on at school.

A first lesson for all of us is that we’re almost never 100% “right.” Few things are beyond debate – I fully appreciate the gravity holding me down as I consider this. If Timmy wants to play baseball and Tammy wants to play soccer, who’s right? Doesn’t matter. Even kids know that if they can’t work it out, neither one is going to get to play ball.

So taxes, debt ceilings, immigration – oh my. Bigger problems by far than backyard ball, but where’s the mystery? As both sides dig in their heels, the one thing we’re sure of is that nothing is going to happen. Tons of hoopla and playground antics but no ballgame.

Those posters that list the things we learned in Kindergarten would be a fine addition to the capitol décor. Share everything, play fair, clean up your own mess, stick together. Maybe we don’t have to worry too much about our kids. The closer they are to kindergarten, the more they remember those important lessons.

Makes me want a snack. Milk and cookies? I’ll be sure to share with my office mates. We’ll have to negotiate who gets the one with the most chocolate chips, but I can see that happening without much rancor. However, I do regret not having time for an afternoon nap….

So if you have a minute to spare, it’ll be well spent checking out this FAMILY Magazine issue – and feel free to come up with your own opinion on any of our chosen topics. We’ll respect you for it! We’re sure you’ll find something that interests you.

On page 20, Dr. Kangarloo maps out how to keep your baby’s teeth healthy, and we’re excited to share with you some important research being done at Georgetown Lombardi on page 26. Be sure to check out the summer camp info in this issue (pages 58-74) and online at our virtual camp fair. Nothing like a week in the woods to teach a group of kids how to work together. Life lessons with a big helping of fun!

Here’s to negotiating our way through February!

-Brenda