A Cher Wannabe?

Am I a Cher wannabe?

For two days now I have been comparing myself to Cher.  If you are a reader of FAMILY Magazine, you might not know who Cher is, but for those of you that are closer to my generation, Sonny and Cher were a big celebrity couple in the 60's.

Once, not too long ago my husband and I were watching television and Cher came on.  She looked great.  I was shocked.  After all, she is older than I am but she had the body of a 30 year old and skin to match.  She was in a great shape and not a wrinkle on her face or neck. 

You know the neck gives away your age.  Watch some women newscasters who seem to have flawless skin. Look at their neck.  It will give away their age and show if they have had work done to their face.  It is much harder to fix your neck. (Just a little womanly advice to all the young women out there – use sunscreen on your neck and you will look much younger when you are older…)

Cher looked great and I was really surprised.  However, my ever aware husband said, “What do you expect?  Her total full time job is to look great. If you had all the money in the world and all you had to do is make yourself look great, you could look as good as she does.”

I had not thought about it before, but looking good was probably the one thing she worked at the most.

So I have been trying to act like Cher.  I am working on looking good.  LOL

Really, LOL. 

For the first time in 45 years, I don’t have a job, or children to manage and I am not running a company.  I really have very little to do but look good, and cook healthy food for my fantastic husband.

Please don’t be jealous.  I really have worked hard for 45 years.  I have never been a lady of leisure.  And, I don’t intend to not have goals. I might even start another company. However right now, I am not doing much but acting like Cher.

Doug and I have a routine.  Up at 4:55 AM.  We hit the gym together for 45 minutes then Doug showers and I cook him a hot breakfast.  He is off to work at 6:30 and I go back to the gym.  I lift weights or do crunches.  Then I lay in the hot tub for a while, and then by the pool for a little longer.  Back to the flat for a shower and moisturizer on my face and body.  Ah, it is a good life.

Doug is not home for dinner until 7 or 8 so I have plenty of time to plan a good dinner, shop for fresh food and write this blog. 

Our flat is associated with the Ritz so we have a membership in their health club.  Here is a photo of the “point” where I walk every morning. It is like going on vacation while I am exercising. 

The indoor pool is great for swimming laps. The weight room is huge and has everything I need for my short routine with free weights.  Although, sometimes there are real weight lifters working out as well.  I try to stay out of their way.  I can lift weights and watch the boats in the marina or waves hit the rocks beyond the beach area.  It really is fantastic.

Our building is the beige and tan building to the
 left of the blue cylinder-like building.
This photo also shows the beach for the Ritz.

After my workout (the second one -- without Doug) I always grab an apple from the front desk and head to the outdoor whirlpool.  I can sit in the bubbles and let my muscles relax.  The pool guys already know my routine and have my chair (in the shade) set up with towels so I can sit and cool off.  If I am really hot, there is a chilled pool where I can swim a few laps before hitting the whirlpool. Yes, you heard me correctly, a chilled pool.  Shocking but extremely refreshing when the temperature is over 110 degrees.

The locker rooms are marble and chrome – just beautiful by themselves. 

I am hoping all of this health club work will payoff with improved muscles.  I won’t be doing any cosmetic alterations (cosmetic surgery is very big in the Middle East – who would have thought?) but I am only going to work on getting in shape naturally.

While I crunch down on my apple at the whirlpool, I have started to think . . . what company could I start?  Anyone have any ideas?

Cheers,

Brenda

World Cup with a Job Offer

We have stepped out on the town!  For our first social event we attended a party for the launch of the World Cup.  GREAT FUN!!

The World Cup is a big deal here.  Of course, they call it football and that takes some adjusting on my part.

I grew up in Oklahoma where “football” is completely different than the “football” they have here.  I call it soccer.  But when in Rome do as the Romans do….

The launch party was held on the outdoor patio of the Ritz Carlton Resort, which is just across the street from our building.  We have memberships in the health club at the Ritz so we are over there every morning at 5AM for a workout.  It is a beautiful facility and a workout there is almost like going on vacation.  I will blog about that later for sure.

The World Cup Launch party was quite the affair.  Everyone here likes to dress up so lots of high heels were worn and many team shirts.  The Ritz even lit the outside of the building in Brazilian colors.  That was very impressive.

There was a massive (and wonderful!!!)  Brazil themed buffet with Brazilian beers.  It was great and I was still stuffed the following morning.

The hotel had several outdoor big screens set up so you could see the happenings from almost every seat.  I guess there were over 300 people there and the entire outdoor patio was covered with dining tables. The event was pictured the follow day in the local newspaper. It appears we were part of the “in” crowd.

A local couple joined us at our table.  The young woman asked what I did and I told her I had just retired from publishing a parenting magazine.  She became very excited and told me that I should definitely start one on the island (that is how the locals refer to Bahrain – The Island).  She felt strongly that a publication focused on raising children was needed.

No, I am not starting a parenting publication in Bahrain.  For one thing, they have a woman’s magazine that has a section on parenting.  I loved publishing for 24 years but for now I just want to relax and enjoy life. I want the freedom to come and go as I please so I can visit the States and my children at any time!

Since we start our day at 5AM, we turned in early. I had to see the results of the game in the morning paper.  But it was a fun event and exciting to do something so completely different.  I might have to become a “football” fan.

Cheers,
Brenda

Dessert anyone?  Yummm!

The End of the First Week

I made it through the first week.

Although I have been really busy (or it seems) I feel guilty that I am not working very hard.  Poor Doug is putting in 12 and 14 hour days with a 1 hour commute to and from Saudi Arabia.  And, when he arrives home for dinner, it is an experiment as I am just now learning how to cook for adults after 30 years of cooking for kids.

The groceries here are not quite the same and the kitchen is definitely not equipped with the type of tools I am used to.  On top of those things, I am not a good cook.  I never have been.

We have a large kitchen but without a lot of "tools."

Luckily Doug does not have a strong interest in a fancy dinner with gourmet delights.  He is a basic sort of guy who just needs food to fuel his body. He would rather have a grilled steak and baked potato than any other meal.

However, I promised myself that after we moved to the ME I would learn to cook good, healthy foods for us since I would have more time to do that sort of thing.

First, I researched recipes on the Internet. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring mine – they are coming in our air shipment – 2 months from now! I found several interesting salad recipes and a few main dishes.

Second, I took a taxi to the grocery store.  Doug takes our one car to work each day right now and it will be a week or so before I will have a car to drive.

The grocery store is sort of a Super Target – groceries and lots of household items including TVs and some clothing.  It is quite the experience.  In order to have a cart to use, you need to deposit a coin in the handle bar that releases a lock that keeps the card attached to the other carts.  If you don’t have the right coin, you don’t get a cart.  I learned this the hard way.

With my ingredient list for my recipes in hand, I ventured into the grocery store.  I found most of what I needed although it was a struggle sometimes as most of the labels are in Arabic.  Sometimes I needed to look at the instructions on the back of the labeling to determine if the product was what I needed.  Many times there were several choices and I had to decide which one might be the best one.

I came across oatmeal.  I picked some up as I thought it might come in handy for cookies or weekend breakfasts.  Actually I purchased it because my grandson loves oatmeal and I thought it might give me something to talk to him about.

There were 7 choices for oatmeal.  Back in Virginia, I was lucky if there were 2 choices.
However many things were not as easy to find.  I wanted some honey for a couple of my recipes.  I searched 3 stores before I found honey.

When I went to choose salt, there was an entire aisle filled with varieties of salt.  However, I did not find any non-stick spray or laundry pretreating spray.  And, diet tonic?  Don’t even think about it.  The choices for soda and soft drinks are limited to Pepsi products. I finally found a few cans of Coke Zero.

With groceries in the pantry, I am now focusing on adding some personal touches to our flat.  The goods in the grocery store were not going to cut it for me.  So I kept looking.  And, guess what I discovered?  A Pottery Barn Store.  Yipee!!!

Now that I have Pottery Barn and enough food ingredients to keep me challenged for another week, I think I am doing pretty good.  Tomorrow we have dinner invitation and I have to worry about what to wear.  That is another story for another day.



Cheers,

Brenda

The moon over Manama as seen from our balcony.

What day is it?

Thursday is Friday.
Friday is Sunday.
Saturday is  - oh yes, Saturday.

The weekend is different here.  Friday is the religious day of the week and Saturday is the day off.  So this makes Thursday the end of the work week and Sunday the beginning of the work week.

And, to make life more complex, I have to think about the time difference when I am talking to anyone out side of this area.

Are you confused yet?

I am not sure what day it is myself. I think it is Tuesday as I write this.  Hopefully I will get it posted soon.....

They are building more land (pulling up sand) in the view of our living room windows.

Right now I am doing a bit to help my office get ready for the most popular issue of the year, the Best For Families issue.  I have sent Britni and Steven all my notes and some tips on how to make it easier.

Every year for the last 23 years, I have worked extra hard in June to make sure that the July magazine – our Best for Families Survey Results – was the best it could be.  This year, I am not in control and I can only offer my assistance.

Since I have only been gone for 2 weeks, I know my staff (my old staff :-() is probably really stressed out over the July magazine.  It pains me to think about them and how hard this first issue “without Brenda” is going to be.  And, to make it worse, it is the hardest issue of the year because of the Best for Families survey results.  I just keep telling myself, there was never an easy time to leave.  They would have to go through the pains of doing it without me no matter when I left.

I was thinking about FAMILY Magazine this morning and realized I needed to move on and stop worrying about them so much.  So I changed the time on my watch.

Sunrise looking off our patio.

I know that sounds silly, but I had left the time set to DC time so I could easily look down on my wrist and know what time it was “back there.”  So I stopped, took off my watch, pulled out the button and wound the hands.  And, as the hands moved around taking up the 7 hours of difference, I actually thought I could feel a change.

Now I am on ME time.  I am 100% here with Doug.  Time has moved on.

Cheers,

Brenda

More of Manama as seen from our balcony.

Pinch me. Am I dreaming?

I find it hard to believe that I am really here in the Middle East, that I sold my company and I put all my worldly belongings into storage for an adventure of two years or more.  It’s almost an out of body experience.

Early this morning I looked out the living room windows of the flat (condos are called flats here – I am trying to adopt the language) at a fantastic sunrise and pinched myself to make sure it was real.

I only have two nights under my belt, but so far I seem to be avoiding jet lag.  There is a 7 hour time difference and I have slept through the night both nights.  Doug is impressed.  I am shocked.

I have only had a couple of notes from my old staff at FAMILY Magazine back in Virginia.  Nothing major but I feel like they are not asking me what they really need to know.  I keep worrying about them!

Watching a fantastic red sunrise and sipping hot coffee, we plan the first day of fun.  It is Saturday.  However, in the ME, Friday is the religious day of the week and Saturday is the day you relax and do something pleasurable.  We plan a trip to the Manama Souq for fun.  Souq means an open-air market place.  The Manama Souq has many, many streets lined with shops.

When Doug has been in the ME before, he went to the gold Souq in Saudi Arabia and purchased a gold ankle bracelet for me.  Today we are going to a Souq that has a myriad of types of stores.  It is a very strange place.  Row after row of vendors that often are selling the very same merchandise.

When we arrive, l laugh because the very first place we see is a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet.  There is a Hardee's restaurant, Papa John’s and Dairy Queen.  The western world has found it’s way around the globe.

   

Spices and grains.

The fabrics are fascinating.  I wish I could think of a great use for some of the fabrics.  Maybe I will have a dress made before I leave.

The only purchase I make is a set of 5 bowls that I call the camel bowels. I ask a clerk the price for 4. The merchant (his boss) says they are only sold in groups of 5.  And, the price he quotes me is less than the price originally quoted by the clerk for only 4 bowls.  Ok, I will take the 5 at the lower price. I am a visitor in a strange land, and I won't ask questions.

I think they are adorable and an item I want to take home with me when we leave.  Doug thinks they are silly.  The shopkeeper assures me they are dishwasher and microwave safe.  I am already thinking of going back to buy a bigger camel bowl and making it a salad bowl set.  Doug is not sure it is a safe place for me to go alone or to go alone with another woman.  I guess I will have to drag him out again.



My first shopping experience in Bahrain is a success.  I am not surprised.  Shopping is something I do well.  Maybe another trip to the gold Souq is something I should put on Doug’s calendar.

Cheers,
Brenda

Turkey Sausage - June 4 & 5, 2014

I am off to the other side of the planet.  The Middle East, ME for short.

    My last lunch with my friend and her granddaughter.

Here is the view out my car window as i drove away from my house.

My departure from Washington through the Dulles airport was busy and of course, emotional.

My wonderful husband used one of his Global upgrades to have my seat upgraded to Business class.

You may not know this about me.  I hate being late to the airport.  I want to be early enough that I can sit and read a couple of chapters in a book before they start the boarding process.  This way I can make sure I am at the right gate and prepared for boarding.

My elevated status into business class gave me access to the United lounge so I planned my arrival at the airport early so I could Skype from the United lounge with my parents, my children and grandchildren.

I planned to close up the house (it is ready for the people who have leased it), drive Doug’s car over to the consignment car lot where it is going to be sold and still arrive at the airport in time to Skype with my parents, my children and grandchildren.

Two of my children are not happy about my adventure.  After arriving in the United lounge, talking to them was painful.  I know they will adjust, but right now they just don’t want to be that far away from me.  However, Skype is great.  Doug and I have been calling each other every day (sometimes twice a day) by Skype for the last 3 weeks. When you can see someone’s eyes when they are talking, you communicate so much better.  Other than not physically touching, Doug and I had great conversations every evening just like we have when we are together.  These conversations made the separation tolerable.

I am right on target and just as I finish talking to my granddaughter, they call my flight and I am off to the other side of the world.

The seat on the airplane was the best I have ever had.  My area is large to begin with and in the end, no one sits next to me so I have 2 areas for myself.  There is a nice dinner, good movies and hot fudge sundaes to top off the evening.  After I finish the last bite of the sweet chocolate with whipped cream, the lights go down, my seat reclines completely to a flat bed and I actually sleep for almost 7 hours.  I don’t even sleep that long in my own bed.  However, I think I only had 2 hours of sleep the night before so I am sure I was very tired.

When I wake the next morning and cleaned up, breakfast is served -- omelets and turkey sausage. I eat while I watch another movie, Captain America.  Turkey sausage is something I am going to have to get used to.  There is no pork or ham in the ME. In fact, I need to find some books and study ME culture.  I want to be courteous and respectful while I am staying in someone else’s country.  The last thing I would want to be is a pushy, bossy American.

As the flight is finishing up, I start reading a book my granddaughter recommended, Divergent. And, while I sit there reading I become paranoid about the book jacket showing the neck of a young girl. Pictures of women in provocative posses are forbidden in the ME.  You need to wear long pants or skirts below the knee as well as long sleeves or ¾ sleeves.  Several other wives of ME executives have already prepped me on this.  So as I read, I carefully keep the picture covered up with my hand.  Thinking this way is something I need to start doing as a second nature.

Finally after 14 hours, our wheels touch down in Manama, Bahrain.  It is night and very dark outside so I have no idea what the area looks like.  I am processed through passport control and I head to the duty free shop.  Doug has requested 2 bottles of liquor.  It is very expensive to buy spirits in Bahrain and everyone from the flight is lining up in the duty free shop.  As I am standing in line, I realize I am the only woman in the store.  Oh well, that is something I will also have to get used to.

After a long wait for luggage, I push my 4 big pieces of luggage, my carry on cases and my bag from the duty free shop out the arrival gates.  I must look pretty strange.  There in the crowd is Doug waiting patiently.  Wow, does he look good in person.  Maybe I don’t like that Skype as much as I thought I did.  There is a lot to be said for hugging and kissing!

They have decorated camels at the airport!

Cheers!

Brenda

This was taken the next morning on our balcony located on the east side of our flat in the Al-Seef District of Manama, Bahrain.

I hope you enjoy the photos.  I will try to include some on every blog.

Big News from FAMILY Magazine and Brenda Hyde

May might be coming to an end but it has much more to give to me and to my family. Like the song in the musical Carousel I quoted earlier this month in the magazine blog, “March went out like a lion and April sighed and stepped aside. Along came funny little May. May was full of promises.”

For me, this May held especially significant promises that all seem to be coming true. First, I love May – the 8th is my birthday. And this year, the gift I’m giving myself is a big change. Equal parts exciting and scary.

Here goes: I am retiring from publishing and moving out of the country. Whew, kind of a big deal, huh?

It has been over 25 years since I founded FAMILY Magazine. During that time, I have been so blessed to be able to share with you the joys and trials of raising kids in the DC area. We were all doing it together – me, my staff, our readers sharing our challenges and accomplishments.

FAMILY Magazine is like a child I’ve raised and am now ready to send out into the world under someone else’s care. Our mission, from the very beginning, has been to make it easier for our readers to raise kids in this crazy area we all call home. I am always so pleased when you tell me how you count on our magazine for parenting advice and resources month after month.

Donna and Brenda

Twenty five years is a long time for any endeavor – longer than most kids (if all goes to plan) live at home with us. There have been so many great times and, as with any venture that has meaning, challenges along the way. As I grew FAMILY the business, my own family grew right alongside (grandkids!).

If you’ve been following my blog, you know that March was fabulous wedding month. My youngest daughter Brittany got married, and all four of my children were there to celebrate. It really made me realize that no matter how self-sufficient our kids are, no matter how successfully we’ve launched them, mom is always the mom.

In publishing a magazine dedicated to parents, I find myriad reasons to play the mom in my professional digs. I’m a big believer in helping young folks get their start. I hope our interns don’t mind the motherly advice I offer them. There’s little natural distinction between parenting and management. Many issues in business, and yes, politics, could be well handled with some re-direction and possibly a time out or two. 

So in the name of good management, I am turning the reigns of FAMILY Magazine over to Northern Virginia Media Services to oversee my “baby” take its next steps. Northern Virginia Media Services  is a very capable group with seven other publications here in the Washington area. I have no doubt they will carry on our traditions and keep providing you the great information you’ve come to expect from us. It’s important to me that FAMILY Magazine will be very well taken care of – most of all for my staff “family”. It’s going to be tough to say goodbye!

As FAMILY Magazine moves into its next stage, I am sad like all parents whose kids move on, but also gratified and excited about the growth and change that FAMILY will experience. 

Personally my next stage is a big move – to the Middle East. My husband has been given the opportunity to build a business in that far flung part of the world. It will undoubtedly present big challenges for our family along with great adventures. And you know me, I love a good adventure. I was thrilled to hear there is some exciting scuba diving on that side of the world.

So for some final words as Publisher of FAMILY Magazine to my wonderful, wonderful readers: I have loved every month, every issue of the magazine and especially every time I had the opportunity to meet you! I thank you for giving me such great memories to take with me as I travel into this next phase of my life.

In the spirit of always being a mom, I leave you with some advice. It’s what I’ve always told anyone who would listen – and I believe it holds its importance. Enjoy every single moment of life, savor the time with your children and especially find joy in your marriage partnership. 

On our refrigerator I have a note I wrote to myself over 25 years ago, “Life is short, dance often.” I’ll be packing that up carefully to inspire me on the other side of the planet. I’ll miss DC, the magazine, my team, our great advertisers, and YOU.

My traditional sign off has always been “Til next month, Happy Parenting!” For this, my last "Publisher’s Blog," I opened with a song, so I’ll close it by humming “Til we meet again…Happy Parenting!”  My next blog will come to you from the Middle East!

Brenda

Mother’s Day, Year, Decade(s)

Finally May! It seemed as if winter would go on forever. Like the song in the musical Carousel, “March went out like a lion…April cried and stepped aside. Along came pretty little May….”

May is one of my favorite months. There’s my birthday and Mother’s Day – which I celebrate now just as heartily as when my kids were home. I’m sure you’ve heard  – once a mother, always a mother – but as a mother of adults, I’ll say you don’t really get what that means ‘til your kids are taller and (I’ll admit in rare instances) smarter than you are.

Now that my kids are “launched”, my favorite advice to new parents is to enjoy every stage of motherhood to the fullest. I remember as a new parent how I “couldn’t wait” for my baby to do the next big thing -- to smile, to sit up, to walk, to make his own meals (and ultimately money). There’s reason to celebrate each stage with gusto – it means we’ve passed another of the endless mom tests.

Try not to rush the kid stages. It’s not a competition – there’s really no correlation between early walkers and class valedictorians. Just enjoy the many wonderful experiences along your child’s way. And if my romantic view of it doesn’t persuade, just consider that learning to crawl is a fun milestone, but now you have a diapered force of destruction on the loose in your home.

At each stage of development, I so enjoyed my kids’ increasingly sophisticated interest in their world. My middle daughter was a tireless digger for detail. She was fiercely independent. Her first sentence was, “Me do it own self.”  She would follow me around and tirelessly ask, “Why?” 

A typical morning during her third year would start with me saying: “Let’s put some clothes in the washer.”  She would say, “Why?” and I would answer, “Because they are dirty.”  Again, “Why?”  I would answer, “Because we want them to look nice. Let’s put soap in.”  Another, “Why?”  and I would answer, “Because the soap will get the dirt out.”  Her response? Yup, “Why?” 

These conversations were endless with her – just substitute whatever topic was at hand and generously pepper with “why’s.” When I first became a parent, I vowed never to say, “Because I told you so.” I have to admit I used that parental classic more than once in the face of the terminal “why’s.”

I’m a huge believer in being prepared  - which significantly informed my approach to parenting. I’ll tell you now however, that the parenting experience from infant to adult has been an endless source of surprise to me. I studied piles of books. I went to all the classes we could afford, took my husband to as many classes as he would tolerate. I talked to my mom and did compare and contrast analyses of the young mothers around me.

But like so many of us “boy scout” new parents, when my first baby arrived, what I knew for sure was my idea of prepared was a fantasy. I was at a loss to recall ANY of the diligent research I’d done, and from the moment of delivery, too tired to pick up a book.

As parents, we’re on a bit of an intelligence roller coaster in the eyes of our kids.  We’re brilliant right up to when they hit double digits, we couldn’t be less relevant when they become teens, and then we gain back some influence as our kids hit adulthood. At the moment I went home with babe in arms, my mother became a genius in my eyes. I thought about how she had given me tons of advice throughout my life (often against my will), and it hit me: “Mom was right.”

I was a very independent child (still am), but nonetheless, I was on the phone asking mom how quickly she could come over and help me even before I had cut off that hospital bracelet. Pregnant me had told her it was not necessary for her to come, but new mom me could not wait for her to arrive.

I thought I could do it all just like I tackled so many challenges before. But this was a challenge who owned me from her first breath. I was not ashamed to ask for much needed help. This little person was in control, and I knew even then that my life would never be the same. Never.

On this Mother’s Day, be sure to remember your mom and all she did/does for you –share your undefinable, unimaginable motherhood experiences. And remember whatever kid stage you are in, it’s the best one. It will pass (sadly/gladly), and you’ll be so happy you appreciated it.